Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Why Does the Taliban Feel Justified in Killing Children?

Today members of the Taliban killed close to 100 children in a Pakistani school. What twisted facet of any religion could excuse the wanton slaughter of so many children? Real Islam does not condone the killing of children, from my understanding. Ironically, most of these children were likely Islamic themselves. Therefore the Taliban is not interested in religion or God, but in the cruel use of power.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

No Christian Church Should Allow Non-Christian Worship under its Roof

I was gravely disappointed to learn that on November 14th, the National Cathedral allowed a Muslim only worship service to take place. This is blasphemy to Jesus and the cross. Since when do Muslim mosques allow us in to pray to Jesus? The Episcopal church should not become the namby pamby, stands for nothing version of Christianity, but it is in danger of becoming so. This Muslim service should not have happened.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Endless Middle Eastern Killing: Peter Kassig and Jerusalem Synagogue Victims

Only yesterday American Peter Kassig was executed by the world's ideological and religious bully/ brat pack, Islamic State. Now today four Israeli worshippers at a synogogue were killed by two Palestinians. Hamas has praised this barbaric and sacrilegious attack, even if the attackers were not members of Hamas.

Where does this leave the Middle East, and the Holy Land in particular? Jews want to drive Palestinians out of "their land" even by crushing Palestinian houses without compensation, making people homeless, and Palestinians rightly feel outrage. Both sides kill each other. But now IS just wants to kill everyone and has surpassed Hamas and Israel as dangers.

If IS seizes Turkey, which they are perilously close to doing, then they will be just a hair's breath from Europe, something the West cannot afford. Imagine IS in London or Berlin, only an ocean away from us. This is the real threat no one speaks of.

The US needs to put ground troops to stop IS. Our air strikes are simply not cutting it. The Middle East will always be a land of hatred and killing, but at least we can stop IS from coming into the West, and perhaps destroy them entirely.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

On Simon Rattle Conducting the Philadelphia Orchestra



On Simon Rattle Conducting
Brahms’ Symphony no.4

Moving his hands as if culling the sounds from the air-- with care--
He coaxes the music with minimal shapes and delicate grace.
The slightest pulses of his hands to trace the much larger waves of music’s energy.
Pitch, dynamics, timbre; nuance and gradation; resolution—
As waves crash or ebb and flow, commensurately.

His right hand directs the melody, while the other imitates the tremulo of the strings,
With faintest tremors of fingers and flicking of wrist.
As a conductor, he conveys that less is more in this role,
a role so essential yet properly circumscribed,
as the real music is crafted not from him but from the musicians
as it pours forth from their instruments.

He intuits that he needs only to be a skillful beacon,
a lighthouse in the void of unfolding creation---
in the space and silence between the sounds that are made.

Monthly Stats by Country

This month my stats had an interesting international pattern: 91 views from the US, 31 from Poland, and one each from Belgium, China, France and Thailand. An interesting mix that I appreciate!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Disgusting Mob Murder of a Christian Pakistani Couple

A Christian Pakistani couple were beaten savagely and then burnt to death by a mob over the unsubtstantiated rumor that they had torn up or thrown out a Koran. The wife was pregnant but that didn't stop the savage attack. First, I don't believe they desecrated the Koran, and secondly, I do not think anything warrants an attack like that. When someone desecrates the Bible, Christians don't do beatings and burnings.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

My Wishes for American boy Scotty McMillan

What I wish is that the neighbors of Scotty McMillan had done something when they heard a small boy screaming and being tortured for three days--if so, he might be alive now. Now I hope the boy is with Jesus and feels so much joy that the pain he endured no longer matters.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

My Church Experience

I once sang in a choir with a man whose voice was so beautiful that I always sang my best because the beauty of his voice drew me in and tranported me; I sang to this man as much as I sang to God, because I was experiencing God through him. My John, forever my John.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Forgiveness

As Jesus and God the Father would want, I've decided to forgive those who lied so much to me this year and last year.

Friday, October 31, 2014

If We Are Alive, It's Because God Wants Us to Be, or Allows Us to Be

On days like this it's difficult to conceive that God has a plan for me, but he makes use of every living being with plans for goodness. No act of goodness is too small to be important to God.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Doing Good by Singing

I sang "Flow Gently, Sweet Afton" for a new friend, and she told me my voice had "transported her to a whole different state of being." About 2 weeks ago I sang  "Amazing Grace" in an informal group, and afterwards the director came up and told me, "A little bird came and told me I was hearing a beautiful, delicate voice, and that voice nearly brought me to tears."

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Pistorius' Sentence a Mockery

Pistorius should have received a much longer sentence, and a verdict of guilty for murder, not just manslaughter.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Jim Foley

 I pray for the soul of Jim Foley that he may find a comfort in the presence of God, a love so assuaging and powerful and eternal that it eclipses and surpasses the unjust horror of his death. I pray this also for the souls of all those who have died unspeakable deaths.

Friday, August 22, 2014

What I Wouldn't Give

What I wouldn't give to return to the year 1989, when I was 20, to go back to a time when my horizons were open, my hopes undashed, my path not yet made and my basic freedoms still real.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Tragic Deaths of Americans Robin Williams and Michael Brown

Both deaths are tragedies that grieve me. Both deaths have been followed by inexcusable behavior, such as sadistic Twitter users taunting Williams' daughter with graphic forensic photos, and brutally defensive police responding to peaceful protests over Brown's death with full military armaments and tear gas.


When will this world ever become more just and less insane? When Jesus comes again.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Someone Complained about My Wearing a Cross

To that I have to say, I AM A CHRISTIAN, I was BAPTIZED Christian, I WILL DIE CHRISTIAN.

Yesterday I saw an Eagle

 I heard it first, making a high pitch cry that sounded like, " Ky--rie! Ky--rie!" When I looked up, there it was in all its majesty, soaring in a zigzag pattern down through the sky--from a cloud so high it seemed to touch the sun-- barely flapping its wings as it rode on the air. Eventually it flew towards a small patch of woods, then landed on the ground, perhaps to seize its prey.

A profound sight, a gift.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

My Mother Fixing My Wedding Dress, 2003


Early Morning by the Sea ( published in Decanto, 8/2014)



by Catharine Otto

I feel the spaces within the stillness, and listen…
Lingering in the air, are paired the sweet, salty dampness
Declaring to my delight that the sea is nearby,
And the languorous scent of the hotel’s French milled soap,
Feeling even softer than usual against my skin.
The oblique gleam of tile, the lustrous sheen of white bathed in sunlight,
The indescribable softness and openness of the sky’s keen blue
All above me and about me.

The spaces within the stillness….
The sublime shape of a seashell
With its pristine inner world of curves,
The covert chambers formed by its fluted spirals.
And the spaces formed by the folds and turns
Of the brain and the heart,
 Capturing the secret souls within all
So that they do not fly out---premature—
Dangerously unarmed!

The fractal patterns repeated in all our desires—
Leading back to this—
The wonder in the shape of a leaf,
A seashell;
A fossil;
A life yet to be.
Each reviving a wondering child in all of us.

Monday, July 21, 2014

NSA Jackasses

In prayer, Jesus told me that no matter what spies/ intruders see or what they say, they cannot take away from one's purity or whole dignity, both of which are God given and inherent.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Once More Again

Again, time to walk straight towards danger like it's not even there. As I said before, God does sometimes give us our blessings with the most difficult strings attached, requiring great faith on our part.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Ungodly

The way that women are being treated the world over today, by people of all religions, is simply ungodly and evil.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Yay Deutschland!! They deserved the win, they worked hard for it

It didn't hurt that they had great eye candy, lol.

World Cup

Today I'm going to root for the team of the country from which  many of my ancestors hailed, and I don't mean Argentina, lol!

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Beauty is a right, style is a right

To certain detractors of mine who criticize my style of dress, implying that I dress with "an attitude" or that I don't know "my place," I say go to hell : that my place is wherever I want it to be, and I've always liked standing apart from the crowd and being beautiful in a striking way. If I want to wear a hat or dress just because I look smashing in it, that's my God given right.

Monday, July 7, 2014

A Royal Affair

I love to watch the movie A Royal Affair, especially the dance scene, so that I can see that there are/ were other stupid fools in love who loved despite danger and despite dire consequences.

How you treat the least of these, is how you treat me

I wish the whole world could begin to live by that code, given in the book of Matthew. It would end so much of the world's needless cruelty.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

The Real War on Women

The real war on women is evidenced in how The Cannibal Cop, Gilberto Valle, was freed today by a judge who overturned the jury's guilty verdict, even though Valle used his powers in law enforcement to cyberstalk potential victims which he planned to rape, kill, and eat.

The US judicial system is such a fucking joke now. Happy Fourth, for lack of freedom for women and all people here.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Just for Laughs

On a humorous note, this World Cup is providing me with a lot of eye candy, as all the players are tall with long legs---my favorite flavor. Have you ever seen a short man with short legs play professional soccer?  I don't think short legs would do the trick in soccer, lol.

Was not surprised that the US lost to Germany, (and later to Belgium) even with a German expatriate as our American coach. The US is too new to the sport, as compared to Europe and South America, to win the World Cup yet.

Monday, June 30, 2014

When the spirits of my miscarried children tell me not to give up, both of them with the pretty blue eyes of their father, I suppose that is something.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Days like Today

Days like today I wish I had been born without a heart to love with, nor any desire, nor any love of music. Sometimes I wish the high voltage wire had gotten me afterall.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Almost Electrocuted at the Age of Two

When I was two years old I was walking with my father and brother through a bus station, and I lingered behind them because they had both left go of my hand. (Wonderful family, I know.) I was about to stand idly before the curb of the sidewalk when an unseen voice in my mind's ear said to me firmly, " You have to get up on the curb. You have to step up on the sidewalk." For some unknown reason I complied, and even as I took the step up I heard a woman screaming behind me, and a loud ripping and crackling.

No more than a split second after I was up on the sidewalk, a high voltage overhead electrical wire was writhing on the ground exactly where I had been standing, still only inches away. My father finally realized the danger and pulled me away, saying, " Oh my God!"

It was a close shot by the Devil, but it was the voice of an Angel that saved me. Angels make the Devil miss.

Friday, June 20, 2014

I once looked into someone's eyes and thought," Your eyes are so beautiful I'd like to live and die with you."
I didn't say it, though, and now I so much wish I could, especially to go back in time

Friday, June 13, 2014

Moments I Treasure.

The very first thing I said to somebody I love very much is, "You were wonderful!" An auspicious beginning, at least, for creation.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Monday, June 2, 2014

Thanks to God and the Holy Spirit

I felt joy again yesterday and this morning--I did not expect to feel joy again!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

What is there for me in church?

A broken person who is not even allowed to sing without consequences has no refuge in church. Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings is where I am most of the time---that's my church.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Many thanks to Pastor Dave and Pastor Chris from my favorite Christian radio station

Their words of wisdom inspired by scripture and The Holy Spirit just might get me through. They are my church away from church.

When I get to Heaven

I hope Jesus doesn't feel offended that I will be so much more excited and relieved to finally see Anton John and Laura Johanna than to see him.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Who has the courage to let themselves fall through the rabbit hole?

Taking a fall on faith alone.  That is someone I admire, but unfortunately it wasn't me. It will be me one day though.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Babies should be created the way God intended

Meaning sex between one man and one woman. No test tubes, no rented uterus and vagina. No hand maidens. Of course there were hand maidens in the Old Testament, but that is mankind's evil, which God sometimes seems to use for his own purposes.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Have a Blessed Easter Everyone

I didn't want to injure anyone with my banned voice, but I don't know how to worship Jesus without singing, so I didn't go to church today.
A few weeks ago, a woman said to me, Bless us with your singing, which I thought was apropos, however conceited that sounds.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Dallas Buyer's Club : Not What It Claims to Be

Despite Matthew McConaughey's excellent acting in this film, and his gratitude towards God in his Oscar acceptance speech, watching Dallas Buyer's Club still left me with a sullied, almost violated feeling from all of the egregiously voyueristic close ups of female butt cheeks, breasts, and girl on girl stripper sex. I was grateful only for Netflix so that I could constantly fast forward, especially when a stripper's naked butt filled the entire screen. Seeing women filmed so callously this way deeply offended me as a woman. Undoubtedly, the audience did not need all those gratuitiously sleazy visuals---whose only  effect was of making prostitutes out of unknown actresses whom no one will remember---in order to get the idea that the main character of Ron Woodruff led a white trash life. His constant use of the "f " word and the fa#g#t word was enough to tell us that.

It is ironic also how transvestites like Jared Leto's character were portrayed as being classier than the average straight female in the film, with the exception of the Madonna- like stock character of the doctor with whom Woodruff is in love. So straight women are either madonnas or whores, this movie says, while gay men and transvestites are fully fledged, complex people.

Essentially, McConaughey won the Oscar for this movie because of its political sympathy for AIDS and all the titillating sex and nudity, not because his acting was any better than his excellent acting in 2012's Mud, a drama that I loved.  In my opinion, Dallas Buyer's Club is not much to be proud of, for its negative treatment of women as degrading sex objects outweighs its expose value concerning AZT and big pharm manipulation. It's nice that McConaughey is grateful to God, and he seems like a decent person, but making movies full of such egregiously graphic nudity and degradation of women  is not consistant with being a Christian, something he was raised to be.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Mail

Today I had some poetry submissions returned to me in the US mail as undeliverable even though the address is correct and my handwriting is extremely clear. Like I said, Fuck the US government. I know this is not an accident.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Fuck the US government

I let my pit bull eat the US flag last week, because it is good for nothing as there is no freedom left in this country, or the world, for that matter.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Purpose of this blog

I am not writing to purposely offend, yet I am not writing to make friends. As Jesus said, I come with a sword to divide. I am writing to speak the truth that I have a need to say and a God given right to say. Most of all, I express the truth to survive.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

And Along Comes Dustin

Very recently I was standing among people who were doing everything they could to bring me down--insidiously, subtly-- as if I were standing amid a pack of cowardly wolves and thieves whom God will pay back one day,  and along came Dustin, to save the day and my soul that moment. With his bright, shining, joyous smile, sparkling blue eyes, glowing white skin that blushes just so-- just the way I like it.  He came over to talk to me as a person worthy of respect and congratulations-- and also frankly worthy of some desire, but who cares? We were just talking. Dustin cute and caring and saying to me one day, "You need to always think, before you do something: Does this take me one step closer to who I want to be, or one step farther away?" Which is exactly what I needed to hear and remember.

I am sure Dustin will remain a passerby in my life, but I will always remember him and be grateful for his caring and his words. So this is for Dustin.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Why Being Against Gay Marriage Does Not Make You a Hater, Rather an Affirmer of Religious Values


Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and their own religion, including the right to follow the Bible and have their political opinions be influenced by being a practicing Christian.  The Old Testament makes clear that a man should cleave to a woman and "become as one flesh," that the sexual practices in Sodom and Gomorrah were aberrant to God. 

As a Christian I should not HATE homosexuals, (and I don't), and in fact I should not hate anyone, but I have a right to feel that homosexual sexual practices are not God's ideal, even if genetics  does play a part in their sexual choices. If homosexuals cannot live any other way than they do, than as a Christian I should have empathy for them. But I should not be expected to feel that their relationships should be sanctified by the government on the same par as the holy union of a man and woman. Two men can never complement each other as a man and woman would; neither can two women complement each other as a  man and woman would. Homosexuality is a form of attraction for incomplete individuals who are essentially running from their own God destined identities on a subconscious level, even if it is not wholly their fault that they run from themselves. This is what I will teach my children, whether ANYONE I know likes it or not.
A child is always a blessing no matter what the circumstances.


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Resistance

Resistance can be something beautiful and perfect, like a flower or something growing inside of you.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014



And the winner is: France!! Right now France is coming in first on the home stretch with 20 views, followed by a poor second showing by the US with 8 views, and Germany and Peru bringing up the rear with 1 view each today. However, I appreciate all views, humor aside. These stats are for real, by the way, not April Fools humor. To my French viewers, Merci beaucoup. Je suis contente.

Just Think



by Catharine Otto
for R. S.H.
If only you would let me
Spread my wings I just might be able
To fly you to yourself—
Together—Us –Free
United against the reign of pain.

My loyalty cries out
To SERVE! Feels strangulated
Like a diver with the bends—
Coming up from falling waters
Too fast—
Or a soldier parachuting
Down the sky
To an empty Earth;
And the worst part is--
Like a seesaw in the wind--
In leaving you, I  don’t know who I’ve betrayed, hurt more:
You or me.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

I wish to thank my recent readers from France, Italy, the Netherlands, and Greece, whomever they may be. As always I appreciate my loyal viewers from Germany and Russia, two countries which oddly have never been the best of friends! And of course last but not least my fellow American readers, who still comprise the vast majority of my "hits" or views.

The glory is in the quest.

Just heard that Beyoncé spends $145,000 a month on her hair

Well I guess you would have to when you were born with native African hair and you are desperately trying to make your hair like a Norwegian white woman's. Just telling it like it is, as they say.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Wounded Hunter

by Catharine Otto



I felt like a hunter
Having been almost mortally wounded,
Now having the inflicting prey in my sights ,
And being told, “Hold, Hold,
Don’t fire--
For this person who is acting your enemy
Is really your heart’s desire.
He is too blind
To see the blood coming out your side,
But if you wound him now
He will surely die.”
It was either the voice of an angel speaking words of truth,
Or the devil speaking lies,
But I listened.